Lessons learned and hope for tomorrow.

Upon entering the dairy-free (Food Allergy) lifestyle you become an avid and adept translator of food labels. It really comes with the territory of this very intentional way of life as it highlights the many ways milk, and its counterparts, are present in most everything. We Americans consume the greatest majority of processed foods, and have somehow blurred the lines between healthy and factory made. One of the biggest mistakes I made early on was developing a----if it's without milk it's an option mentality toward food choices.  Somewhere the lines blurred about being selective for any other reason. My thought process toward changing my lifestyle into becoming dairy free personally was a no brainer, because the consequences are very serious for my little girl. My daughter is touch and airborne allergic, and I never wanted my daughter to be allergic to me, or for me to be the cause for any pain or sickness she would endure. Although I so easily came to the conclusion to change my lifestyle, changing the processed component came with a much harder lesson. I spent a great deal of time translating labels and putting trust in what companies were confessing to on their labeling, instead of just buying wholesome ingredients and making my own from scratch options. There have been some occasions when my daughter has reacted to a food that claimed to be free of milk and shared equipment, but with little regulations keeping these companies in check, placing trust in them becomes another way you can become responsible for negligence. At the end of the day it's about safety so you learn to be in charge and accountable for your child's, and in my experience trusting others ends badley. 

Early on we knew our daughter was highly allergic to milk and we began our master art of label reading. I'd spend at least 20 minutes an aisle in the grocery store just reading labels and referencing them on the internet access off of my phone. Everything seemed to have milk, and at that time, I didn't really cook or bake (from scratch), AND I had her pediatrician in my ear telling me she was too small. Somewhere between the combination of living an unintentional processed diet, and being a new mom resting a lot of trust in other's opinions, I found myself feeding my milk allergic daughter ANYTHING milk-free. I was so excited to give her some sense of, what I then considered "normalcy" in her diet. I found milk safe snack options that were really just processed junk.  I felt better about her medical diagnosis to forgo most kid foods by acquiring a safe milk-free processed substitute for many things. One day after she'd just snacked on some Double Stuffed Oreo's, I had an awakening from the desperate place I had fallen into. I realized that I didn't want or need to raise my daughter with processed junk food! Just because everyone else was, it's like the whole "would you jump off a bridge if someone else did", and I just simply wouldn't. Most kids are eating prepackaged junk for the majority of their nutrition, but their parents are so unaware because people, in general, are not aware of what they're consuming anymore. Foods are created in labs to look, taste, and feel like the good old home cooking that we have such a positive sense of nostalgia toward. Trust me you aren't eating your grandma's cooking anymore, unless you're cooking it yourself and buying organic.  Food allergy parents know exactly what their kids are consuming because of their special needs diet, giving us the advantage to teach healthy choices, and not succumb to feeding them pure chemical junk! 

My biggest obstacle was that my oldest daughter had grown accustomed to liking the taste of processed junk food, albeit dairy-free, still junk. That was when I began my quest to make kid approved healthy treats. I was tired of reading 11 ingredients of things I had no idea what they were, and being expected to know if they were milk-free safe. We still consume packaged crackers and a few other options that contain a few simple ingredients, but the time came to go back to basics with some needed adjustments in ingredients. The hardest things to start with is knowing how to substitute plant based milk for cows milk to reap the same baking benefits. I found this chart so helpful!!!!!!!!

Next, I was going to inconspicuously add healthy boosters as much as possible to my recipes. Raw sesame seeds for calcium, shelled hemp seeds for protein, and chia seeds for many essential vitamins and minerals we lack on the mainstream American diet. I'm only 2 years into this craft, and I am always learning, but this chart and my secret 3 ingredients provide a mega step in the right direction. 

Another lesson learned was to trust in myself. I was giving myself far too little credit for the decisions I was making on her behalf. It's so easy to question your own gut judgment when you have very little real support around you. Saying no to birthdays and play-dates when they pose a real threat have never been easy, because I care about hurting people's feelings. I've learned that it's okay to care more about my daughters we'll-being and feelings, and as obvious as that seems, I'm a people pleaser at heart. And it's awkward to say " we consider you close, but we won't go in your home or to your birthday party." I've learned that if we're in fact close, then it's understandable that maintaining the well being of my daughters health trumps anything else, and real efforts are made to include her. Sadley, get togethers that can include her are sparce and little effort is made by others. It's easier for people to just plan without her needs considered and leave her out, than substitute plant based milk and butter in their cake recipe or other options. People share a processed food mentality that their child is missing out on something if the menu has to be wholesome and milk free. 

The hardest part I face now is that my daughter is noticing just how abandoned and left out she is by others. Experiencing the broken heart of a 4 year old is excruciating to your soul as a parent. Especially when she's such a kind and giving spirit that deserves so much more. We turned the resistance and offensive behavior we've endured from others into a positive reinforcement to our mission to help our daughters future. I know I'm meant to be a mentor and leader for milk allergies, and so I'm excited to announce that I will be starting my own non-profit awareness campaign later this month. Food Allergy Resources & Mentoring (F.A.R.M.) will aid in mentoring families with food allergies, bringing awareness to life threatening food allergies, and help to provide monetary compensation for families struggling with the huge costs of allergy medication and life saving devices ( like the epipen). If you're following me here I ask that you help to make a difference and follow me there as well. I will update this blog as soon as I have a platform for this call- to-action campaign.  If anyone wants to be a part of it please let me know I'm looking for people everywhere to be a part of something that will literally change lives immediately. 

Living with intention

The dairy-free lifestyle is all about living with intention. You may be living dairy-free because you choose the lifestyle for humanitarian reasons, or because you don't have a choice and are lactose intolerant or have an allergy. Either way it's a very intentional existence. Most people associate lactose intolerance and milk allergy as the same thing, but they are very much different things entirely. This ignorance becomes a serious problem when you're dairy-free because of a life threatening allergy, and so I find there is a great need for education and advocacy on the subject. My journey getting to the dairy-free lifestyle has been full of stark seriousness and the well-being of my child, and has had complexing discoveries that have shaped my perspectives toward everything. This road has taught me to think for myself and seek out my own truths. This concept seems pretty obvious, but it's amazing how little thinking people in general actually do. I've learned that living with intention is making informed and educated choices ALL of the time, and drawing independent conclusions by using your own gauge of conscience. 

Before learning to live with intention and living dairy free, I lived day to day just mulling around through life. Eating whatever I felt like, or what was immediately available and convenient. I chimed in on conversations from time to time, never really giving much thought to anything whatsoever. We (as a society) are led as a bunch of sheep be herded through life by the mass media sheep herder. Most people believe and take their knowledge from anything they see in black and white, online, or on TV. Mass media creates the ideals and opinions in their messages that will cause people to take action in a way that benefits the company campaigns. Profits tend to always trump truths and conscience. The way this works makes people never have to think for themselves. It sets the stage for what a healthy diet looks like in a commercial geared to amp sales and sell the lifestyle. Mass media does this with every aspect of our life from what we wear, where we grocery shop, and what brands we buy. Magic words like "healthy", "natural", and "good deal" are all a part of the psychological game to sell you products. Nobody really cares if things are in fact healthy, natural, or truly a good deal. There's another whole side of the business full of deceit and greed. Companies can get you to eat rat poison and arsenic using these magic words. In fact they do when they fill their products full of toxic chemicals and preservatives to make them seem more appealing to you, knowing that the sheep will follow the herd with some good communication tactics, selling the chemical diet in a pretty picture. Another thing I've noticed is the coupling of food with patriotism. Selling things as The American Diet. Basically processed junk packaged to make you feel like a good American. Companies know that you'll care about what they tell you to care about. It's simply not as profitable to tell you the truth. I'm a bit familiar with the selling game having obtained my degree in mass communication when I was still a sheep.

Living with intention changes everything in your life. Once you become intentional about some things, more things begin to matter. Suddenly your life is purposeful and you become one who leaves the herd and makes a difference by breaking the flow and making educated choices. I have some suggestions to those of you who want to live intentionally. Most importantly, don't base any choice or decision on anybody else's, even your own in the past. Start fresh and open your eyes and hearts to the the choices you make from this moment forward. You can start by being aware of how your actions and choices affect others. From sweatshop's that are manufacturing the clothing labels you desire, to asking if anyone has a food allergy before whipping out your bag of snacks for your kids at a public park shared by many kids, and their different cercumstances. This is the era of intentional effort and change. Every generation has some key people in it that leave the herd and make a difference and have made huge changes, even when everyone said they were crazy and it could never be done. The only thing that changes is the causes that require special attention and intentional efforts. I'd say the food allergy epidemic is at the top of the list! Not only because it can take a life in a matter of minutes, but because it's an epidemic that's growing exponentially and there is so much to be done.

Food allergies are not someone else's problem, they are everyone's problem. If you're aware of someone's food allergy, then you're responsible to act accordingly because you could be the reason their life ends. What a horrible thing and yet what a very possible thing that could happen. This can be by asking questions, changing your actions and becoming educated. The mindset that it doesn't affect you is selfish and ignorant. To not want to help a child when it would only require some thought is seriously disturbing, and a reminder of just how selfish and sheepish society has become. Many courses of action are necessary to change immediately. Proper food labeling is a must! Deciphering through 66 hidden ways milk can be present in 6 syllable chemical and preservative forms is unacceptable. Healthcare professionals that don't know the difference between lactose intolerance and a milk allergy is so beyond unacceptable that it's down right despicable. All of this injustice is motivational to the intentional mindset person like myself. I may just be a lone sheep who's fled the herd of ignorance, but I am not afraid to scream it from the rooftops until I see people take notice to life threatening food allergies. Not everyone is an intentional thinker and will make much of a difference in this world, I hope to be one that does. The holiday season is full of room for ignorance, because basing traditions on the past without consideration of the present is illogical and uneducated. Making it intentional keeps it fun and safe for everyone because that's the spirit of Christmas. When this ignorance and selfishness begins to separate family and friends, and that's not enough to cause change, then it becomes terribly sad and disturbing. When food trumps family and friends, you begin to seriously fear the future for your child. It also motivates the heck out of your mission to advocate and educate, and make your own safe environments filled with people who make the effort and support the cause. 

Here's a cute Santa idea with brownies. I used coconut yogurt ( vanilla flavored)  and a mix of No Pudge Fudge brownie mix and some added coconut whipped cream.

Add a strawberry stuck on with coconut whipped cream. 

The directions for coconut whipped cream: crack open a can of full fat coconut milk and refrigerate overnight. Scoop out cream and add 1/2 c. confection sugar and whip. I used a Nutribullet. Then refrigerate and add more confections sugar as needed to firm it up. Put together with strawberry. Voila! Darling little dairy free Santa brownies. Intentional efforts make the greatest gifts. 

Let me introduce myself...

My journey to a dairy-free lifestyle has been a miraculous, windy, and life changing road. I didn't come into this lifestyle on my own accord, but I have certainly remained here because of it. My oldest daughter is severely allergic milk, and by the age of two we realized that our home needed to be completely without any form of milk to protect her well-being. After extreme efforts to do so I uncovered 66 magic words on food labeling that actually mean milk. Ingredients like "lactic acid", which can be found in a simple fruit juice, and "caramel coloring" found in things like deli style meats, can really throw your brain for a loop. Everything logically containing milk only scratches the surface of what actually contains milk. For this reason, most everyone is completely clueless when it comes to what they put into their mouth, and are completely incapable to assist in providing protection to our daughter. I hear a lot of "there's cow's milk in meat!?", or other seemingly abnormal places to find milk. The answer is YES,  and you basically need a PHD in deciphering food labels to know that information. I don't make the rules, the ingredients, or the justifications about why on earth our food supply is so soaked in milk, but it is, so I lend my voice to educate others about it. My daughter is so severely allergic that these milder renditions (or secret 66) of milk can send her into anaphylactic shock, and require that I be very knowledgeable when it comes to knowing where milk can be found, and disguised as, to keep my precious girl safe.

The early dairy-free stage was mind boggling! Everywhere I looked I saw milk. It was overwhelming and frustrating, and it really opened my eyes to the inferior food quality in the mainstream American diet. Company's are cutting costs by sharing conveyor belts and manufacturing plants, pumping livestock full of toxic components for higher yielding profits, and feeding those toxic animal biproducts to the public. They are then collecting on the increased healthcare component of toxic, chemical enriched diets. People are getting sicker than ever! Food Allergies have risen 200% in the past decade, and healthcare is now unaffordable to the average Joe! I know none of this is ground-breaking news, but to me it was. I lived in a state of ignorant bliss. I chose foods I ate based on their taste, never giving any thought to an ingredient, a manufacturing plant, and the hopped up cow that the dairy I was consuming came from. As if the dairy allergy epidemic isn't enough evidence, here's two more reasons to rethink why (if you're not already) you should be dairy free:
1.) Why are we still consuming breast milk past infancy?
2.) Today's cows are complete junkies and we're eating their drugs!

I've made this analogy before in my blog 365dayswithafoodallergy@blogspot.com that breastfeeding (human) mothers are very careful not to consume alcohol or medications when nursing their young. We even limit mild things like caffeine, but we have no problem consuming the toxic chemicals that cows are fed like growth hormone and antibiotics (neither of which are FDA approved and are considered illegal for human consumption). We feed this straight toxic potion to our babies when they turn one when we switch them to a sippy cup of cow's milk. We are so programmed by probably THE best marketing campaign ever, "Got Milk", that we literally think life without it is a sacrifice and hardship. People truly believe that not consuming milk is detrimental to your health! Wow, the powers of advertising are unreal. The only hardship is trying to get away from it! As far as a sacrifice, there are so many plant-based options for everything these days that I feel a little bit sad for people who let marketing campaigns form their opinions, and not their own research. Hey, if you want to eat a fistful of chemicals be my guest, but don't pity us for choosing not to do so.

There's also another school of thought from the baby boomer generation and earlier generations. That milk is good and wholesome and they were raised on it and they're fine,  so why are the newer generations making such a big deal about it? The difference is this: Baby boomers were raised on organic produce and dairy, and it was wholesome. During the depression and earlier when the country was going hungry and women weren't able to produce breast milk, cows milk was a good alternative to feed their hungry babies. Coming into the baby boomer reproduction years, it had become unfashionable and socially unacceptable to breast feed. This was the era of woman's rights and somehow a woman's God given ability to nurse her own young was barbaric and old school.  Cow's milk became the go-to for human babies as well as calfs. By the early 80's the dairy industry decided to make the US cow population responsible for all calf AND human nursing needs, and pumped them full of toxic chemicals to make them overproduce, so the companies could profit off this unnatural act of drinking another mammals milk. No consideration of the detriment to the health of cows and their inability to even walk with this unnatural added udder weight. No one ever considered that these living creatures weren't meant to feed humans, and that there would be drastic scientific ramifications for human greed.

My youngest daughter doesn't have the milk allergy so I hear a lot of pity going her way. "Poor thing has to go without milk because of her sister's allergy." Can I just say that perspective is gross. If things were reversed and my youngest was my oldest, and we didn't enter into parenthood with a food allergy mindset,  I'm sure we would have succumb to the dairy path for her. Now, I thank God for the wisdom I have gained and that I have never subjected my youngest to anything milk related. I'm positive this will pay off down the road for her health and the health of her offspring. She is healthy, in the 90th percentile, she eats every vegetable I give her, drinks my juicer concoctions daily with spirulina and chia seeds, and has NEVER been sick, had an ear infection, strep, nada! Pitying her is just plain ignorant--she's getting an A+ diet and a healthy perspective about food. And introducing the mindset to be resentful toward her sister because of her food allergy disability is, again, gross! I won't make excuses for ignorant people even though I'm constantly expected to so.

The severe, anaphylactic milk allergy that my oldest has is not thought to be something she will outgrow. In fact, they think it will continue to progressively get more sensitive. I have no plans to turn back to milk and only plan to forge forward with my own unique recipes and lifestyle wisdom. We live with intentional efforts, strong bonds, and respect for ourselves and our bodies, and the bodies of other creatures of God. That is why I created Dairy-Free Darlings so we could share our story, our mission, recipes, and lifestyle with anyone else who wants to (or already is) traveling this path, and wants to share in our kindred spirit.

I'll end this post with a sweet treat for the Darlings in your life!

My Darling Little Crispy Recipe: Free of Dairy, Nut (except coconut), Gluten, Soy, Egg (obviously)

1 TBS Coconut oil
1/2 package of natural, organic marshmallows
1/2 box of Erewhon Honey Crisp Brown Rice with Mixed Berries
1 TBS shelled Hemp seeds
1 TBS chia seeds

In a large sauce pan melt coconut oil. Add marshmallows and stir until melted. Turn off heat. Add Honey Crisp Brown Rice With Mixed Berries and stir well. Add Chia and Hemp seeds and keep stirring. Pour concoction into pan and press down to flatten the top. Put in refrigerator for one hour. Take out then cut into squares and leave out for 15 minutes before serving (they will be hard because of the coconut oil). Voila- a healthier kick on a childhood favorite. Free of high fructose corn syrup and gluten--two things that will wind your little darlings up. Also, a decent serving of vitamins and minerals including calcium and magnesium, with a dash of protein.

Picky Little Darlings and my Meatloaf Recipe!

I have a picky dairy-free darling! I've learned that, for her, selections with dinner end badly. She doesn't do well to have the typical food pyramid protein with a vegetable and a starch. She'll only eat one and usually the least nourishing option. That's why I make all options dense in nutrients like my corn bread. I'm working on some new things and trying to make single item dinner's with all needed nutrient's. For her, I think it seems easier to have to eat just one item. There's many schools of thought on this, some say if you appease them they continue to be picky. I say whatever she'll eat that I know is good for her I'm good with. I made a new meatloaf and it went so well. I mean she ate more than me! I just had to share. Also, ketchup is a food group at my house, so if your house is the same consider buying organic, natural ketchup like the brand WoodStock. I can taste a difference and there's no high fructose corn syrup or added chemicals. Considering our kids eats so much of it, it's worth considering the quality of the product.

My Darling Meatloaf
1 lb of ground meat (beef, turkey, ground tofu, whatever you want)
1 1/2 C of panko crumbs (I used Kikkoman Japanese style)
4 large peeled carrots
3 cups of organic spinach (you should always go organic on spinach)
1 egg (or 1 tbl of Chia seeds soaked for 5 minutes in tbl water)
3 tbl shelled hemp seeds
1/2 peeled yellow onion-large size
2 tbl thyme
1 tsp Himalayan sea salt

Put carrots and spinach in food processor then add to meat. Add egg. Sprinkle Thyme and salt seasonings and mix well. Add panko crumbs and hemp seeds and mix more. Put mixture into a loaf pan and bake for 30 minutes at 350 degrees.

Serve with a side of organic ketchup!

Welcome to Dairy-Free, and my corn bread recipe!

Have you ever noticed that EVERYTHING monumental to childhood has milk? Popcorn at the movies, ice cream cones on a hot summer's day, hot cocoa on a cold day, birthday cakes and donuts, pizza parties at school, trick or treating and ALL holiday goodies. So now, just for a moment, imagine what childhood looks like without cow's milk....I mean really close your eyes and try to imagine it....

A blank canvas comes to my mind because it's a virtually untraveled path, unless you were raised vegan-- and I was not. We are so programmed as a society to have cow's breast milk be our go-to for basic nutrition that it's in everything we eat! Milk-free families have to get thinking and at some level reinvent the wheel of childhood food nostalgia. It can be a bumpy start because when you first decide to live dairy-free, and become aware of what cow's milk really has become and where it is, a sudden wave of overwhelming anxiety hit's you. It is EVERYWHERE! You think "how in the world can I recreate all the wonderful foods that I had as a kid, without feeling that my child is missing out on something?" Welcome to Dairy Free Darlings! Here we will do just that and BETTER!

I like the simple things in life. I like fresh and wholesome over processed and decadent any day. I always have that's just me. I also like simple to make, and easy to do type of things. I improvise if I'm out of an ingredient, and I am constantly trying to redo popular things with a healthy kick. I don't just mean substituting apple sauce for oil, or a banana for an egg. I mean like trying to infuse a recipe with calcium, protein, and added vitamins and minerals for my picky eater. I like to know that if she only eats her corn muffin and nothing else with dinner she's getting some really needed things. More so even than a popular processed whole meal containing cow's milk.

Learning to cook dairy-free is enlightening. First you learn how to simply substitute non-dairy milk and vegetable based butters to common recipes. As you begin to switch things up you'll find yourself switching more and more. You'll stop reading recipes as directions and you'll start improvising and paying attention to more than just dairy alternatives. Soon you'll become an enlightened, health conscious chef. Dairy-free and fabulous and unable to return to the ignorance is bliss phase. Rules are made to be broken people.

Here's my beginner just-transitioning dairy-free corn bread recipe:
( My little girls will eat 3-4 of these little muffins each)

1 box of Jiffy corn bread
follow instructions on back
-1 egg (you could use a small banana or 1/2 of a large one very ripe, if you're vegan or egg allergic).
-1/3 cup of (coconut) milk: I like the fresh coconut milk in the refrigerator section for baking and cooking. The fresh coconut milk is enriched with calcium and vitamin D2 and minimally processed.
Now, my additions:
2 tbs raw (white) sesame seeds-( I believe to be a must have in dairy free cooking)
1 very small zucchini shredded and minced in my food processor (you could add any vegetable)
1 tbs raw shelled hemp seeds
2 tsp ground ginger
Makes 9 muffins

A quick nutritional review:
2-3 g protein each (kind of hard to be exact)
These have substantial calcium because of sesame seeds (there's 88mg per tbs), more calcium +vitamin D in the coconut milk, hemp seeds have 5 mg of protein per tbs and egg has 6mg of protein per egg, the zucchini adds fiber, vitamin b & c. Ginger is a natural tummy tonic with great medicinal properties. These little muffins pack a punch of nutrition!