Chicken Soup for the Food Allergy Family

Lifestyle choices can take us off of a moving train and put us on a completely new track before we know it. Some lifestyle choices are completely unexpected and unanticipated, and can happen in an instant. Being a beef-eater who watches a cow being brutally slaughtered, then vowing to never eat meat again. Experiencing, with your own eyes, true poverty,  starvation and famine, then deciding to devote your life to helping the war on hunger. Not believing in anything, then witnessing a true act of God, and immediately becoming a Christian evangelist wanting to work to share Christ's love with other's. Whatever, however, you make a dramatic change in your life, there will most likely be consequences through resistance and judgment of others. People do not like change, especially people who haven't done a lot of growing and changing in their perspectives during their lifetime. People who think they have it all figured out, their parents did, and they've really never learned to think on their own. People like to feel in control of knowledge, and anything that deviates from the general censes of information makes them uneasy, and stirs up negative, defensive reactions. I'm all to familiar with facing the walls put up by others because of our lifestyle change.

Our story is a little different because, for us, these lifestyle changes (becoming dairy-free) are of a life or death nature.  And so it says pretty awful things about those who disrespect us for our changes, or our specific needs. I lived a completely polar opposite life before I had children. I witnessed a true miracle biologically becoming a mother, and in order to maintain my daughters health and wellbeing, I changed my diet. Anybody else would have done the same thing in my shoes, but rarely do people acknowledge that.  I have the ability to continuously grow, learn, and adapt, independent from anything I've ever been taught or shown. I am a food allergy mom and it's a requirement for the title.

My daughter's food allergy is so extremely severe that, although I would do anything for her, removing dairy really wasn't a choice. I became dairy-free so that she wouldn't suffer anaphalaxsis. People have the hardest time wrapping their minds around how we live, and they focus so much on our differences, that our similarities become invisible. We become distant in their perspectives. We become distant friends, distant family, and the needs and well-being of my daughter, at such an isolating distance become unattainable. At which time the Food Allergy parent side of me becomes more awakened to the need for advocacy. She becomes the victim of ignorance and abandonment. Friends dissipate finding it easier to exclude her. Family continues on as if she doesn't exist, having birthdays, holidays, and simple get-togethers, just removing her from the equation by not inviting us. Putting their wants and desires before the basic human needs of others--family even-- and essentially, through selfishness, damaged relationships are what's left.

Lifestyle changes are all about how our journeys change our perspectives about life, and the experiences that take you to these understandings. I have had a diverse exposure to many different mentalities in my lifetime. I've lived in different regions, within completely opposing subcultures in the overall "American" culture. I've been exposed to a multitude of family traditions and customs, value systems, religions, economic statuses, and plain generalized world-view perspectives. Many of which have been in direct opposition to others. I've have always had an open mind, and the ability to empathize with just about anyone, as I've gained an understanding of the choices made by those I care about. When these perspectives are need-based and quality-of-life based, I will take on anyone to offer my help. I don't scare easily and I'm not intimidated by titles, wealth, or threats. If anything, I find the obstacles motivating and a challenge that I won't back down to. Such is the case for my daughter's "invisible disability," and the cruelty and bullying that is presented toward a preschool aged child. We've all heard the saying "pick on someone your own size," well that's just it. The fight isn't fair when you have a whole grouped society that emotionally abusive toward the needs of kids with food allergies. That's where my food allergy advocacy campaign is going to change the world, at least my daughter's world.

The lack of general understanding on food allergies is unacceptable and really politically incorrect, especially since the leader of our country is a food allergy parent!  The lack of effort to keep Food Allergy families included in consistent relationships with family and friends. I see the obstacles and cruelty my daughter is facing now that I'm able to buffer for her, and I can only imagine how it will magnify in her own perspectives as she gets older. I can only hope to soften the blows with love and support by showing her that in our family in our home she's never alone. I've heard people say they "would walk through fire", or "die" for their child. I would do either for my children and I would forgo dairy. Wouldn't anyone in my shoes?

I do my best to focus on the many blessings we've received, and I do believe in the power of a positive attitude. Through this I can see the remarkable insight and perspective we possess. The ability to identify goodness, extra efforts, and unconditional love when it surfaces. In our lifestyle goodness is magnified and really shines through. Occasionally, we're reminded that people can be selfish, and just don't care about things that they don't feel pertains to them. That's always the worst feeling because you feel like you've been sucker punched, or placed false trust in others and were fooled. Who want's to feel duped? Friends who don't think your child deserves a community that's educated on food allergies. Families who completely go on with their lives removing you from any family get togethers like holidays, birthdays, or simple reasons to be together as a family. The lack of making intentional efforts to keep all of the family included, forgetting that the message it sends to my little girl is usually expressed through her hurt feelings and a lot of tears. It can feel like a roller coaster making us hold onto each other very closely, grow into an extremely tight nit family, and do the best we can to advocate for our daughter expecting nothing less than what she deserves. For that I am most grateful. 

Now that I've surfaced some struggles we face in our day to day life, just know that if you're a food allergy parent I know that you understand. If you're new to this role please know that you're not alone. It can be a lonely world for us and our kids, but we have an amazing purpose and have been so blessed because we can really make a difference and show our children raw, unconditional love often. Here's some chicken soup for the food allergy family to warm up your heart and nourish your soul.

In a crock pot or a Ninja slow cooker:
Cut up any veggies you love.
I chose carrots, bok choy, spinach (spinach and bok choy are both excellent sources of calcium)
Pour one carton of veggie or chicken stock
Add one half of a medium sized onion cut into small pieces
2 cloves of garlic minced

I small finger of ginger sliced thinly 
Place two uncooked chicken breasts on top.
Slow cook 6 hours
Chicken will be extremely tender and easy to tear into pieces.

Serve and enjoy. Goes great with my corn bread recipe!

H